My blog entries are usually labeled in one of two ways; either very bluntly titled according to the content’s topic or with a phrase from a song. The post on this very early Wednesday morning fits both. I am, more or less, always a mess. I am, more or less, always attempting to speak to everyone and no one. Sometimes there is a method to my madness.

I used to write much more frequently. When I was younger, prior to getting my thoughts out in blogs or other digital forms, I would write until my hand hurt. I would write until the pencil in my hand had a curve in it from the pressure I placed on it. I loved pencils. Yellow number 2 pencils. I even loved the way your writing changed as you progressed through the paper. It started thin and sharp and as you wore down the point it became rounder until every letter became a flat, thick mark. I liked my handwriting.

Anymore I get a lot of my internal dialogue out via typing, but there’s something synthetic in that transition of thought. That’s why anything of any personal importance gets placed in a notebook. Those notebooks get full and shoved onto a shelf in my closet. They’re not journals so much as random thoughts and recollections of memories that I jot down as they come. I sometimes take a notebook out with me if I’m going to be staying at a friends or anywhere far from home where I can’t get something down. I would imagine that some of my friends think I’m a little weird because they often see such notebooks by my side but rarely open.

Filling out notebooks is a habit that I’ve done less and less over the years, really since middle school. It was either the summer prior to or after my eighth grade year – I can’t remember which – that I got my first guitar. Well, that’s not technically true. I had an old acoustic guitar when I was very young that had been passed on to me. I carried it around everywhere and pretended to play it. Unfortunately, I was so young that I was also at an age prone to mistake-making and shut the neck of the guitar in a car door accidentally. I must have been five or six and I felt very, very bad. So years later, after having realized I had some musical capability and having had been in choir and other music programs as early as they were available at my school, I decided it was time to actually learn guitar.

After various discussions with both of my parents (and being told they would only support my new interest if I took lessons) I bought my second first guitar. For a whopping $175 I got a Cort Earth Series acoustic. I took lessons from an odd, older guy at West Music. He was classically trained and insisted on going by the book. I bought two of the first “instructor” booklets and set to work. I quit after three lessons.

My first intentions were to start lessons with my friend’s instructor. He was learning via guitar tablature and his instructor, a college kid, was letting him pick his own songs and learn them without any basics. Clearly he was the more fun choice, but I never started lessons back up.

Instead I set out to learn by myself. I went through those two books and learned most of the basics about guitars. From that, I learned some things by playing a long by ear and eventually found guitar tabs. Guitar tabs are a very cheap shortcut but are also an effective means of helping someone to learn. They are also easier methods of sharing how a guitar part is played. I even used the internet as a general learning tool for techniques and things I didn’t understand. Between those resources, playing with friends over the years, & things I learned in band & choir at my school, I’ve acquired a decent amount of skill.

My intentions for the summer have been to record an EP of sorts – four or five songs of music I’ve created. It’s more about whether I actually can do it than me having any specific goal for what happens after. So, other than a huge family gathering & taking advantage of summer break, that’s what my time has been going towards. More updates will come soon, about this project and life in general. I’ll try to remember to proof this tomorrow. It’s 3AM. Good night.