About Lucas

I'm a 22 year old writer-wanna-be from Iowa. After starting my first hobby site in 2004 and dabbling in web design and development, I registered Postblink.com in late 2006 to share my love (and hatred) for different aspects of all kinds of music. The site still serves that purpose, in addition to my thoughts on life and different events happening in my life.

Currently reading: This Is Your Brain On Music // Currently hearing: Freelance Whales

I have no idea how to start this post so I’m just going to jump into it – blame the lack of doing any free writing at all lately.

I’m becoming more and more aware that I end up censoring things I want to write or comment on. That’s incredibly disappointing when it seems like I have more to say than ever. This isn’t solely related to this blog – it’s across all of my social networks too.

I know it’s entirely out of a desire of being able to get my thoughts out anonymously without thinking about what my friends think. That’s fucking pathetic but unfortunately true. I tend to tell myself that I don’t really care what other people think. I’m pretty firm in my ideologies but I know for a fact that I would write less inhibited if people didn’t associate who’s writing these words with who I am when we’re hanging out.

It’s a conflicting issue — on one hand you’d probably get a better idea of who I am and how I think by reading a few posts around here but it’s come to a point where I don’t feel like sharing because unfortunately this text can only convey a message or feeling to such an extent.

I’m also not sure that I like the link to the past that these posts have created. I am not ashamed of past-tense me but I’m not entirely that person anymore either and the only way I feel able to show that is to cut ties in ways that don’t make any sense at all.

I guess most of all I feel jaded. Not sad, but disappointed in realizing that so much that I’ve cared about politically, musically, and socially really only ever mattered to me. I’m not winning anyone over. Lately I’m not even engaging in any interesting discussion.

This may all have to do with transparency and ease of sharing online anymore. I’ve gone from wanting throw out every little emotional twinge to the wind via this blog to wanting to compartmentalize what, how, and with who I share information.

I guess I’m stoked to now just push a photo or video to my friends and family on a smaller scale via Facebook rather than write a page about why I love a new album from such-and-such band.

Postblink has been really cool. I opened up a dialog with people. Nothing will ever be as straight-up random to me as when I was at Warped Tour in Minnesota a few years ago and a couple of bloggers who read my rants recognized me. I started this blogging thing as an experimentation to teach myself a little bit about web development and greater goals spawned forth. I don’t know if I’ll ever reach 10% of what came to mind but it’s been fun nonetheless.

I’m still brainstorming what I want to do here. I’ve got no intentions of closing up shop, so to speak, but it’s obviously been on hold for a bit. I guess this post doesn’t make a lot of sense. It’s kind of a “I’m still here but I have no idea why” sentiment. That’s just kind of where I am with life right now. Damn that sounds significantly more depressing than I mean it to – see what I mean with text only taking me so far? Fuck it. Until next time!

Just A Thought

“Our liberties we prize and our rights we will maintain.”

This is our state motto and, believe it or not, Iowa has a pretty solid track record of living up to it. We removed racial barriers in relation to marriage a hundred years before the Supreme Court removed such barriers nationwide. We moved to end segregation in education eighty-five years prior to the Court’s ruling on Brown v. the Board of Education. The University of Iowa was the first public university to admit men and women equally starting in 1847 and Tinker v. Des Moines would affirm a student’s right to political protest in public schools in 1969.

And on April 3RD, 2009 Iowa would become the third state in the United States to allow same-sex marriage.

Fast forward to next Monday. A hate-speech spewing group of people will be visiting our state to protest the production of The Laramie Project by the University of Northern Iowa. The play, which consists of interviews and observations conducted in the wake of the 1998 murder of Matthew Sheppard, with and of his community, is often used as a teaching tool to promote acceptance and prevent prejudice. Ironically enough, the group is actually mentioned in the play.

I, however, refuse to write the name of the organization.

Over the last couple weeks I have seen multiple people across social networks mentioning counter-protests of the hate group. I have received event invitations to participate in counters. I have read more and more criticisms of the group and I have seen acceptance and open-mindedness on the raise.

And while I forever support your right to protest and while I’m impressed and happy to see our state live up to an ever-more progressive stance, I can’t help but question what a counter-protest will accomplish.

This group feeds on media attention. They depend on it to continue existing. They crawl from location to location in hopes of local media exposure. They shout horrific obscenities and taunt those around them. They pray someone will harass or physically attack one of their members — they rely on the civil suit money to continue promoting their agenda.

I would advise another solution. Attend the play if you can. Support the art community.

And ignore the hate group.

Don’t give them any attention. Don’t waste your time thinking about witty signs or shirt designs. Don’t give them another thought.

Or show up and turn your back to the group. Don’t make a huge spectacle of the night. These people are petty. They are a distraction and their only goal is to take away from what the night’s focus should be on, which is equality and social tolerance.

In the past large communities have banded together in counter-protest and driven members of the organization away with just the power of their voices. You can find cases of this yourself because they are well-documented on the web — on youtube, blogs, and wikipedia. And that’s just what the group wants. More exposure. Even if you win, you lose.

Everyone loses until these people are long forgotten.

It’s just a thought…

More information about UNI’s production of The Laramie Project, including ticket prices, can be found here.

The Silver Lining?

Let’s be honest; every great line in every gripping play, thrilling script, or repeat-button worthy song only add up to a collective of ideal situations. They are what they are — just lines. In reality, absence makes the heart wilt, the body numb, and the mind fog. These horrible afflictions are our best defenses. They harden. They tranquilize. They cloak. The silver lining lies in what we make of ourselves in overcoming our own defenses. In allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. In accepting the present and forgetting both past and future. In rewriting history’s greatest lines with ourselves as the major players. The lead roles. The inspiring characters.

Lines are just lines until someone draws the curtain, calls out “Action!”, or lays down the recording arm. If the lines are not lived then they die as empty words scribbled in a notebook.

Why in the hell am I still rambling on?

I have an urge to write something prolific but I just consumed a fairly large amount of alcohol so this will probably turn into a garbled mess of rants. Or maybe it will lead to the next great American novel. Did Kerouac start drinking before he wrote? Or did he start writing before he drank? These are the stupid, quasi-serious topics I debate with myself when I drink. That’s why I rarely drink. Tomorrow morning I will wake around nine and check the social networks I belong to. This post will have probably been fed into my Facebook notes by then. I will cringe at my idiotic questions. I will cringe at the stupidity of the night’s events and why I even headed to the newest local watering hole. I will probably not delete this post, instead remaining optimistic that no one wastes their time on my thoughts anyways.

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Lost Mementos

Years ago I lent my first acoustic to a friend. He lent the guitar to another friend. I never got it back but last fall I saw it in the kid’s graduation pictures. It looks like it got some use and as for me? Eight guitars and several other instruments later I can honestly say it probably wouldn’t have gotten used as much for the rest of it’s life. Certainly not enough to feature in graduation pictures.

Lost mementos occasionally find new homes. Keep that in mind and apply it in different areas of your life. It makes letting go easier.