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It doesn’t take more than a couple glances at a post or two here to see how much music plays a part in my every day life. What’s kind of funny is how my subconscious attributes different soundtracks to different parts of my life. Sometimes they’re very obvious picks, like listening to Angels & Airwaves on the entire trip to one of their shows or rocking Motion City Soundtrack on the way to Minnesota to see them on Warped. Sometimes there a little more random. The Ataris’ Blue Skies, Broken Hearts… Next 12 Exits album is tied very closely to memories of my high school band trip. More specifically, every song on that album reminds me of two things from that trip. The first was walking into a local music store in Milwaukee and picking up their So Long Astoria album. The other was a card game in the hotel hallway. Nothing else significantly sticks out. I have faint memories of a symphonic workshop and hackey sack at either the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee or outside a museum. Maybe both.

My high school choir trip to Memphis, Tennessee is similar. My 30GB iPod was full but Cartel’s Chroma was pretty much the only thing I listened to the entire time. It was more or less exclusively on repeat the whole trip. I remember much more of the trip, but that album pretty much brings to mind the bus. Memphis is a trip I wish I could get a do-over on. It was way more interesting than my band trip and more my kind of thing, but I remember being in the worst mood ever the entire trip. Someday I’ll go back for a Memphis/Nashville double header. Chroma is still one of my favorite albums of all time, but sometimes it feels corrupted. That feeling sucks.

Then there’s the seasonal albums. The Format and Limbeck will always mark Spring and early summer on my audio calendar. Without fail. blink-182 is always going to be the hot, dirty part of mid-to-late summer. Fall is any indie and/or acoustic track I can find. Phoenix and Blind Pilot seem to be taking over this season. Fall is also when my pen hits the paper a lot more.

There are soundtracks for people, places, and feelings. Times and experiences. Rain or shine. There are tracks that will instantly put me in a good mood, regardless of who I’m with or what surrounds me. There are tracks that I can’t listen to anymore. There are albums that make me sick. There are songs that I’ve put in the back of mind. They are songs I cannot forget but need to find a mental cure for before I can listen to them again. These are the notes, the chords, the tempos, & the phrases that make us who we are. How could someone not be into music?

Dear Santa,

I want iTunes giftcards.

Sincerely,
Luke

I love the holidays.

I tried very hard to avoid this. I really tried. I didn’t want to write about this because it should be easier to just write it off as something very unfortunate. It sucks, but it happens. It always seemed very odd to consider a pet part of your family, but sometimes they just are.

Last night my step dad, Lyle, told me my dog wasn’t coming in. This is pretty normal. Both of our indoor dogs are very protective of the property and will chase off critters and not always come home immediately when called. I shrugged it off and waited twenty minutes to try him again. Nothing. Still not that strange — they’ve both spent the entire night outside before and usually come in in the morning when Lyle leaves for work. Something seemed off, but it wasn’t a big deal.

I didn’t sleep last night at all, despite my frustrated attempts. I was still up when Lyle left for work around 5:30 this morning and my dog still hadn’t shown up. When it finally got bright enough out, I could see Pip on the shoulder of the road down from house. My only thought process was a very literal, very blunt “Well that fucking sucks.”

And the day continued. I got asked several times if I was okay all day and yet no emotional flip switched. Nothing. I was bummed, but I wasn’t hit as hard as I thought I’d be. I went to class. I came home. I think the fact that my dog was gone was so surreal I didn’t understand it.

Tonight my step dad walked into the house. I met him at the door to let our other dog outside and he said he was sorry.  We both summed up the day as shitty. And he was trying very hard to keep a stable face. It didn’t work. And then my switch got flipped. Lyle frequently wanted to get rid of that dog. For a dozen reasons that were all pretty sound. Then late last month Pip bit someone who was jogging by our house and we panicked. We thought we were going to have to put him down for sure. The deputy sheriff called and requested a fax to make sure Pip had all his shots, which he did. After reimbursing the person for their torn pants, we thought the whole thing was behind us. The deputy said this is a pretty common issue and to not get too worried about it. All that fucking drama — and today Pip gets hit by a car? Such a damn waste of time and worry. Such a stupid thing to stress about.

So today my step dad buried my dog in the rain because I didn’t think I could. Today my step dad shed some tears over a “pet”, who was more or less a nuisance for him. And so did I. Today was a shitty day.